The Problem With Ultimatums in a Relationship (And What To Do Instead) (3 of 3)

Expressing Needs: A Healthy Communication Skill

Expressing needs openly and respectfully is a crucial aspect of healthy communication in a relationship. It entails clearly articulating what you expect from your partner without making demands or assigning blame.

For instance, if you need more quality time together, you might say, “I’ve been feeling disconnected lately and would really appreciate more time with you on weekends.” Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when we don’t have uninterrupted conversations.” 

This approach focuses on expressing your feelings and needs without criticizing your partner. Healthy communication fosters mutual understanding and collaboration, helping both partners address issues constructively and strengthen their emotional connection.

The Last Resort: When Ultimatums May Be Necessary

Ultimatums aren’t always bad, but they should nevertheless be used sparingly and only as a last resort. They can create a sense of pressure and control, potentially damaging the relationship. However, in some situations, an ultimatum may be necessary to address a serious issue or to protect your own well-being.

As a good example, if your partner is engaging in harmful behavior that is negatively affecting your life, an ultimatum might be necessary to communicate the seriousness of the situation and to demand change. However, it’s important to approach this conversation with calm and assertiveness.